Inspector Kyoko
by Twaifu
Summary: Has your property (bike, lunch money) been stolen? Have you been beaten up... while blindfolded? Do you have any mysteries to be solved, questions to be answered, criminals to be caught? For a dollar an hour, detective Kyoko Kirigiri is on the case!
1. Inspector Kyoko Episode One

Kyoko Kirigiri sighed to herself. Why did it always have to rain on the weekends? It had started about five minutes ago, just when she was about to go outside.

"Well, at least I can relax a bit" she thought. Even with the cold outside and the rain tapping the windowpanes, she wasn't lacking for comfort. She lazily flipped the pages of the Nancy Drew novel she was reading, balancing it on her blanket-covered leg with one hand while reaching to the coffee table beside her to take a sip of her hot chocolate. "Ah, yes" she thought to herself. "This is the way to spend days like these- curled up in a comfortable armchair with a blanket, a good detective novel and a warm beverage."

Regardless of her current situation, however, Kyoko was still sad that she couldn't go outside and set up her stand. Kyoko wasn't like all the other 5th graders in her grade. Beyond her overly-large vocabulary, purple hair, and love for good detective novels, the ten-year-old was a child detective herself. She could solve any case presented to her- for $1 an hour.

The child detective sighed again, looking outside of the window. A detective novel was certainly good, but at the moment, she felt like she needed to solve a case herself.

As if her plea had been heard by something out there, a knock sounded on the door. "Maybe it's somebody to see my parents" Kyoko thought to herself. Either that, or something in the cosmos had heard her plea.

She opened the door to see Naegi standing there. She smiled to herself- no doubt there was a problem to be solved somewhere. After all, Naegi was constantly asking for her help. Perhaps the cosmos had heard her after all.

Or perhaps it was a coincidence.

"No" Kyoko thought to herself, smiling. "There's no such thing as coincidence".

As she stood smiling to herself, Naegi was slowly becoming more and more soaked, the rain pouring down on him. He was an average looking kid, with medium length brown hair that always seemed to be sticking out in places. The one thing that set him apart as an individual was his seemingly never-ending lack of optimism. "O-Oh!" Kyoko exclaimed. "Sorry, come in. I'll go get you a towel."

A few seconds later, Kyoko dashed back into the room with a fluffy towel. As Naegi dried himself off he started to speak. "Sorry for bothering you on your weekend Kyoko." He looked over the room and saw the blanket, book and hot chocolate. "I hope I didn't interrupt your reading".

"It's fine" Kyoko said, although she was rather regretting letting Naegi in- thanks to the combination of the rain and his hair he smelled like a wet dog. "So, what mystery do you need me to solve this time?"

Naegi looked surprised. "How do you always know that I need your help whenever I come over?" He stood still for a moment, thinking hard. "A-are you an esper?!"

"No, silly" Kyoko said, rolling her eyes. "You ONLY come over here for my help. Now then, what is it?"

Naegi paused. "Well... you know how my family only has that one bike, right? Ever since mine got stolen I've been borrowing my sisters".

Kyoko giggled to herself, recalling the vivid memory of Naegi biking around the neighborhood on a bright-pink bicycle complete with colored streamers, trying (and failing) to dodge all the baseballs Leon was rocketing at him. She could almost hear the hot-headed red-haired junior league superstar yelling after him "nice bike, ya little fag!"

Come to think of it, Leon had quite the dirty mouth for a grade schooler.

Naegi saw her giggling and turned red- he had a pretty good guess at what she was laughing about. "Well... she left it out in the rain and my parents got really mad, but she blamed me! She said I was the one that was riding it last, but if I can't prove that she left it out I'll get in trouble!"

Kyoko grinned. This sounded like an interesting case.

"Ok, first off, you are of course aware of the fee."

Naegi sighed, tapping his pocket. "Yes."

Kyoko's grin widened a bit. "Since I trust you I'll let you pay it on completion. Well, I have to, because we gotta see how many hours this takes."

Naegi rolled his eyes. "Please don't take your time".

"Now then" Kyoko said "Where were you and your sister before the rain started?"

Naegi thought a bit. "Well, I was inside playing computer games- alone, so there were no witnesses. Also, my parents have been in the living room watching TV, so they don't know where I've been. "

Kyoko gave him an approving glance. It looks like all that time he spent watching her mystery-solving techniques (for a fee, of course) were starting to rub off on him.

"Ok. And your sister?"

"She was out riding the bike!" Naegi exclaimed. "She claims that she was actually over at a friends house, though." Makoto sighed. "There's no way I can think of to prove that she was the one riding the bike. My parents always believe my adorable little sister though so I need to prove that it wasn't me."

"Let's go over to your house to find clues!" Kyoko exclaimed. Grabbing an umbrella, Kyoko stepped out of the rain, Naegi following her.

Naegi looked hopefully at Kyoko and the umbrella, starting to drift towards here in an obvious attempt to get under it (and, perhaps, closer to Kyoko). Kyoko glared at him. Sighing, Naegi stepped back and walked in the rain.

"Oh well" Naegi thought to himself. "She's like that to everybody. Besides, Maizono was always nice to me". Naegi shivered in the cold rain. "Maybe if I get wet enough than mother won't make me shower when I get home and I can go back to my computer game after drying off~"

Before he knew it, he was standing with Kyoko by his house. Kyoko started inspecting the area.

"Look! There are muddy imprints. They are blurred by the rain but they must be the footprints of whoever used the bike".

Naegi looked at the mud. "Yeah, that must be right."

Naegi and Kyoko entered Naegi's house. Naegi's mother saw them and smiled at Kyoko, greeting her with a wave, but gave Naegi a "you are in SO much trouble!" look.

Naegi shuddered. In the meantime, Kyoko inspected Naegi's sister's shoes, inspecting the wet soles. The shoes, however, were completely clean.

In the meantime, Naegi's younger sister walked up. "What are you doing?!" she said, grabbing her shoes.

Kyoko decided to use the opportunity to question her.

"Did you go outside today?" Kyoko asked. Naegi's little sister stuck out her tongue.

"Yeah, I went to a friends house, but I didn't use the bike. Besides, I got home before the rain started!"

In the meantime, Naegi's mother walked over. "You shouldn't be having friends over, Naegi dear, seeing as you left that bike out in the rain."

Kyoko raised her hand. "No, he wasn't the one who used the bike, and I can prove why!"


	2. Inspector Kyoko Episode Two

Naegi's mother looked at her, taken aback.

"Really?" she asked kindly. Kyoko smiled.

"Why do you think that Naegi did it? There's no proof. Besides, the muddy footprints belonged to whoever left the bike out, correct?"

Naegi jumped in. "Yeah, and my shoes aren't muddy!"

Naegi's sister gave him a sweet smile. "Yeah, but you were out walking in the rain, so your shoes would be clean!"

Kyoko pointed at Naegi's sister. "You said that you were inside before the rain started. So why were your shoes wet when I touched them?"

Naegi's sister smile quickly turned to a pout. "Because I cleaned them off when I got inside, of cou- wait!"

Naegi's mother grabbed Naegi's sister by the arm. "I see how it is now~ You're in a lot of trouble, young lady!"

Kyoko smiled and Naegi cheered. Naegi's mother turned to him. "You're soaking wet, Naegi, and you must be freezing too! Go take a hot shower."

Naegi sighed, but his sigh quickly turned to a smile. "At least" he thought to himself "A hot shower will warm me up. After all, I am pretty cold. Maybe I can go back outside afterwards to visit Maigono."

Kyoko looked at him, exasperated. "If you're thinking of wandering off again you might as well not bother showering. You'll just get wet again anyways."

Naegi's hopeful expression swiftly changed to a rather stunned one.

"How did you know I was thinking that? Are you SURE you aren't an esper?"

Kyoko rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure. You're easier to read than an open picture book. One written for pre-schoolers."

Naegi sighed. "Whatever" he thought to himself "Kyoko talks down to everybody like that. Besides" he thought, his hopeful expression returning, "maybe there's a compliment hidden in there somewhere?"

Kyoko stuck her hand out. "My fee."

Naegi sighed, reaching into his pocket. "Since it only took half an hour counting travel time can I just pay you 50 cents?"

Kyoko glared at him. Naegi gulped. "I-I was joking!" Naegi handed over a dollar bill, and Kyoko turned to leave. "Goodbye, Naegi" she said solemnly as she stepped out the door. "Bye, dear, feel free to come play again" Naegi's mother called after her.

Naegi sighed. "Why does she have to be so cold and formal about everything? Is she going to a funeral now or something?" He wandered upstairs, dripping water everywhere, heading towards the bathroom. "I don't care if I get wet when I go back out again" he thought to himself. "I want to warm up. Besides, maybe mother will let me take a bath instead~"

Kyoko walked home slowly, enjoying the sound of the rain pattering against her umbrella. Once she got to her house she took off her shoes and placed them near the radiator, then curled up again with her book, blankets and cocoa.

"Maybe I'll listen to something" she thought to herself. Untangling herself from the blankets, she wandered over towards a CD rack. "These are father's CDs. I'm sure he won't mind if I listen to them." Searching through the case, she picked out a CD labelled Dead Boys- Young and Loud and Snotty. "This looks interesting" she mused, heading over towards the CD player.

"I really miss dad" she thought to herself, sighing. He was out at another school meeting yet again. "I hope nothing bad happens" she said out loud, then giggled. "Well, he's a school principle. I guess the worst thing that he has to do is give out too many detentions and deal with annoyed parents".

Kyoko sighed. She really loved her Dad. It was a shame that he was principle of a high school and she was still in 5th grade. "When I graduate middle school" she decided "I'll go to Hope Peak's academy with him!" She grinned at the thought. "Maybe my friends will go there too~ it is the best school in the area, after all!"


	3. Inspector Kyoko Episode Three

Kyoko woke up the next morning, yawning. She tumbled out of bed and stumbled around the house in the white pyjamas that her father had given her for her birthday. They were her favourite pair. "And so comfortable." She thought to herself sleepily, still stumbling around the house.

For a 10 year old, Kyoko was a real bedhead. "I'd rather just go back to sleep" she thought to herself as she half walked, half tumbled sleepily into the kitchen and started pouring herself something to drink.

Only to have a hand reach down and confiscate the cup.

"Hey there, sleepyhead." The friendly voice floated down to Kyoko from somewhere above her. She looked up confused, to see the smiling face of her father.

"Daddy!" she yelled happily, hugging him. "When did you get home?"

Kyoko's father let out a long, tired sigh. "Daddy got home at 12:00 last night thanks to the board of directors not knowing when to shut their mouths. They want to make so many additions to the school once they are through you could probably live there."

Kyoko grinned. "Did you put them in their place, Daddy?"

Kyoko's father looked annoyed. "More like they kept reminding me of mine. I'm only the principle, after all".

Kyoko shrugged, then smiled. "That means that you're the king of the whole school!" Her father looked down at her adoringly. "That's right, honey. And Hope's Peak sure is a nice school to rule over."

As Kyoko's father started drinking the coffee that Kyoko had poured, Kyoko, now fully awake, decided not to change into clothes. "I'll just stay inside and relax for the day. I don't feel like going outside~"

It was funny, Kyoko reflected, how when it was raining she wanted to go outside. But when it was sunny she wanted to stay inside.

"Whatever" Kyoko thought to herself. "I guess I'll just curl up in bed with a good book."

She went to her room. It was a simple affair, with a bed, a desk, and a bookshelf. She started shifting through the books slowly, looking for an interesting title. In the meantime, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it" Kyoko's father said, heading towards the door. "Oh, good morning Byakuya. You're certainly up early~"

Kyoko yelled "Don't let him in Dad, I still need to get dressed!" She quickly ran over to the dresser and randomly pulled out some clothes. She emerged from her room wearing a white skirt with a light purple Kyoko wasn't one to obsess over what she wore (although a couple certain kids in the neighbourhood were- you would think they were idols or something!), but she looked cute anyways. Not that she cared.

Right now Kyoko's main aim was to deal with Byakuya. Which was never an easy thing to do.

"Especially on an empty stomach" she thought to herself, remembering that she had yet to eat Breakfast.

When she came in, she saw Byakuya sitting in her favourite chair, with his typical sneer gracing his face. "Ah, Kyoko. So good to see you."

Kyoko rolled her eyes. She just naturally had a big vocabulary from reading, but Byakuya always tried to make a point of sounding fancy.

He made a point of dressing fancy, too. Byakuya had had his light brown hair gelled down, nearly reaching his shoulders. He was also the only kid in the neighbourhood who went around in a suit.

"I have an interesting case for you."

Kyoko sighed. "What do you want my help with?"

This was a mistake. Byakuya leapt up.

"Excuse me? The heir of the great Togami family needs NO HELP from a mere peasant such as you! I have come here to do YOU a favour! You enjoy mysteries, and I have for you a most succulent case!"

This said, Byakuya sank back into the chair, adjusting his glasses. "To take this case you must pay me, however. After all, I am the one helping you here."

"Helping me to what?" Kyoko inquired.

Byakuya sneered. "Why, to escape the clutches of boredom, of course! Take the case, if you believe you can solve it!"

Kyoko rolled her eyes. "If you pay my fee, sure."

Byakuya leapt up again.

"I do NOT NEED YOUR HELP! YOU pay ME for this most excellent opportunity!"

Kyoko rolled her eyes. Her eyes were getting quite the workout these past few days.

"I shouldn't have even bothered changing. I'm going back to sleep".

She headed back towards here room, leaving Byakuya still standing. Byakuya glared. "This is an opportunity you can't refuse!"

Kyoko reached the door of her room.

"You're just scared you can't solve this case!"

Kyoko started stepping inside.

"Fine, I'll pay your accursed fee!"

Kyoko walked back out to the living room, smiling.

Byakuya glared.

Kyoko's angelic smile did not falter.

Byakuya glared some more, but gave up. "Very well. Let me tell you about the case."

Kyoko faltered, remembering something. "Just a second, I have to go grab my pencil and notebook. And some food!"


	4. Inspector Kyoko Episode Four

Kyoko walked back into the living room to find that Byakuya had, annoyingly enough, seated himself in her favourite chair… again.

"Well, at least I have food~" she thought to herself happily, munching on a waffle. Byakuya looked at the waffle hungrily.

"I see that you are consuming a breakfast food which is Belgian in origin?"

"That's reaching a bit" Kyoko thought to herself. One could only take sounding fancy too far.

"Yup. It's called a "waffle" by the way"-

Byakuya interrupted. "I know what it's called?"

Kyoko waved an uneaten waffle around teasingly. "Do you want one?" she said in a playful tone, then taking a bite out of the one she was busy munching on.

Byakuya sniffed loudly. "Hmmph. The great Togami family does not consume common foods such as these "waffles". Normally for breakfast, I enjoy a fine"-

Kyoko cut him off before he could get going full-steam into what his daily oh so superior routine was.

"I don't care. Tell me about this case."

Byakuya glared. "Well, I basically need you to figure out the secret behind"-

Kyoko interrupted. "Let me guess, Celestia is tricking you again and you aren't sure how."

Byakuya leapt up, eyes blazing. "NO! I just can't be bothered to waste my time trying to figure it out myself. That's why I'm hiring you to waste YOUR time doing it."

Kyoko rolled her eyes for what felt like the tenth time that morning, and she hadn't even gotten up more than half an hour ago.

"Whatever. Where's Celestia now?"

Byakuya stood up. "She's outside, no doubt swindling some five-year-olds out of their lunch money."

Kyoko opened the doors and bowed. "After you, Mr Togami."

Byakuya paused, trying to decide whether he was being made fun of or not. "Well, at least you know your place, detective" he said in a stuck-up tone of voice, walking out of the door with his nose in the air.

Kyoko rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath "If I ever wanted to kill somebody, Mr Togami, I would push them off the top of your ego and let them fall to your intelligence".

As Kyoko and Byakuya walked down the street, Kyoko got started on her second waffle, while also blocking out Byakuya's running commentary on pretty much everything happening around them and how the great house of Togami would have none of it.

"Look at those children. They run around in the dirt. Like pigs. It reflects their intellect". Togami gave the children a disapproving look, and turned to look at Yasuhiro instead.

"Look at that guy. Always playing around with that crystal ball of his. What a waste of time. The great house of Togami certainly has nothing to do with that sort of nonsense. Also, he's dressed like a hobo."

Yasuhiro, blissfully unaware of Byakuya's stern glare, sat on the ground and stared into a dirty crystal ball. All he saw was his own face, complete with overly-long hair put in dreadlocks, to his great disappointment.

"The crystal ball isn't the only dirty thing" Kyoko thought privately to herself, reflecting on the rather bedraggled state of Yasuhiro's clothes, and grudgingly agreeing with Byakuya's description of "hobo".

After a seemingly incredibly long amount of time (Byakuya's obnoxious stuck up chatter probably making the walk one hundred times more unbearable) they came upon a cardboard box. Written on the box was "Card Trick- $1.00." Behind it was sitting a girl dressed in an overbearing Lolita-styled black dress. She had a thin, pretty face, and long black hair that was curled up on the sides of her head to make some large twin ponytails. Kyoko fingered the small braid in her hair self-consciously.

Celestia often had that sort of effect on people. Which was pretty weird, for a 10-year-old. "Then again" Kyoko thought to herself "it seems that all the kids in this neighbourhood are pretty weird. Except Naegi, he's just average, which is sorta weird in itself".

Celestia looked up, scarlet eyes blazing with the prospect of more money.

"Hello, dear Byakuya. Back again? Want to have another go?"

Byakuya glared. "I have nothing to say to you. Ultimate grade school gambler? Hah! More like ultimate swindler!"

Celestia rolled her eyes. "I told you, if you could figure out the trick, I'll pay you a dollar. You couldn't, so you paid me. Only about a hundred times over so far this week."

Byakuya started to speak in indignation. "Excuse me?!"

Celestia continued. "Besides, if I'm the ultimate swindler, you must be"-

Celestia and Kyoko spoke at the same time.

"The ultimate grade school prick".

Byakuya tried to glare at them both at the same time, but confused himself and sat down suddenly. Celestia smiled at Kyoko.

"Oh, my, it seems that we're on the same track, dearest" she said with a sweet tone of voice with a sweet smile. Kyoko felt an involuntary shudder. Somehow all that niceness felt fake.

"Well" Celestia said "First off, call me Celeste. Secondly, I suppose that Byakuya's brought you here to see if you can figure out this little trick for him."

Byakuya recovered his wits and resumed glaring at Celeste angrily.

Celeste took out a back of cards and flicked them between her hands in a professional manner. Especially considering she was still very young, it was rather intimidating. She spoke in the same sweet tone, but this time there seemed to be a hint of challenge in it.

"Care to have a go?"


	5. Inspector Kyoko Important AN

So, uh yeah, for like the next week I'm going to be in Switzerland with no computer and probably very little internet access.

Tragically this means that Inspector Kyoko won't be getting any new updates until Christmas, at which point I plan on releasing a Christmas Special ^^'

In any case, after the Christmas Special, I have mock exams coming up after break ends so I'll have to bust my ass a bit studying, meaning (once again, sorry) less frequent updates to Inspector Kyoko. My writing sorta depends on mood and inspiration so I would expect no more than 3 updates a week, realistically probably 1 or 2 new chapters posted a week. Sorry for the slow pace after Christmas special, but thanks to school I got a lot of stuff to get done ._.

Thanks for reading! Christmas Special will be the next chapter, released probably on Christmas!

~Twaifu


	6. Inspector Kyoko Episode Five

Celeste put down the deck suddenly.

She fanned it out, and said, "Here's the deck of cards. Pick a card, any card."

Kyoko picked a card and discreetly looked at it. It was an ace of hearts.

Celeste grinned. "You picked an ace of hearts".

Byakuya leapt up. "She guessed it right, didn't she? I got an ace of hearts, too! And she guessed my card correctly then as well."

Kyoko looked at Celeste, who was grinning innocently, and sighed. Looking at the deck, she thought she had the anticlimactically simple solution.

"You know" she said, turning to Byakuya, "She never said that she was using a normal deck of cards."

Byakuya shrugged, but then something occured to him. "Wait. If it's not a normal deck of cards, that means its a trick deck! No doubt the cards are marked!"

Kyoko sighed. "The solutions a bit simpler than that, even. The chances of us both pulling aces, even in a marked deck, are rather slim. That must mean that the entire deck is made of aces."

Byakuya glared at Celeste. "But that's cheating!"

"How?" Celeste asked inncently. "It was a trick. With cards. That's what is says on the box, yes?"

Byakuya glared. "The solution just CAN'T BE THAT SIMPLE. It's so simple it's stupid. There's no way-"

Celeste flipped the deck over. It was all ace of hearts. Byakuya sank back down to the ground.

Celeste and Kyoko both rolled there eyes. Kyoko spoke. "Typically, you were too busy trying to figure out the most complicated way she could be tricking you when really the solution was the simplest."

Byakuya groaned. Celeste grinned. "Of course, You would pick it up, Kyoko. I suppose I owe you a dollar." Taking out a box that was stuffed with what used to be Byakuya's money, she handed a dollar bill to Kyoko.

Kyoko smiled in thanks and started to walk home. She had gotten a dollar anyways, and it would be a pain trying to extort an extra bill from Byakuya, who was busy arguing pointlessly with Celeste.

"That's you trick?" she could hear him demanding. "That's stupidly simple. Make something more complicated."

From the sounds of it, Celeste was fanning the deck of cards again.

"Stupidly simple, yet you couldn't guess it." She took out another deck of cards. "However, I have more than one trick up my sleeve, if you care to have a try, figure out this one..."

Byakuya rustled in his pocket for more dollar bills. Kyoko sighed. Some things never changed.

**AN: No Christmas special by Christmas, sorry guys ;-; I forgot I had to resolve this one and to be honest I'm so busy what with Christmas Eve and all that I can't get one done for tomorrow, although I'll try to have something up (hopefully a longer chapter) sometime this or next week regardless ^^**'


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